I want to vent

As one of those “special people” who are politely labelled “high functioning” as a result of being autistic there are times I cast aside my very carefully constructed rules that have allowed me to function in society. At these times I just call it as I see it and usually manage to piss off a lot of people. I imagine this article will do the same.

My mum is in her 90’s and looking forward to shuffling off this mortal coil. I appreciate that, given my own health problems and how if it wasn’t for having to be a responsible parent, I would do the same. Then there is the utter joy of sibling rivalry and that a fair chunk of people are always after the gold and will squash anyone who they see as an obstacle to achieving their goals.

Yeah, and so what? You might say as that is the way of the world and has been forever. Fair comment and valid, until it bites you in the arse.

What happens if you just don’t want to play the sibling rivalry game or don’t want to profit over the death of a parent? The short answer is you are just a patsy who is going to lose when it comes down to the estate being divided and still no parents left.

When all is said and done it has little to do with the loss of a parent and more to do with the financial advantage that can be made. It’s as old as time and yet politeness has always managed to sweep this bit of dirt under the rug. That is until modern times with the “bank of mum and dad”, the anger at parents spending their retirement funds at the expense of the kids and so much more became a matter of public discussion and media interest. You come into this world with nothing and at the end you get to take nothing with you. That is the irony of life. What you leave behind is what is squabbled over and that sometimes trumps the reason for the windfall.

I have struggled with this subject and found that my perception of life is perhaps different to others. Death is the end result of life, and nothing can change that despite all the bullshit and beliefs that have prospered over the centuries. Besides it would be dull and boring to live forever. Who would want that? Many people have a fear of death and strive to avoid the unavoidable. Where is the value in that? Some embrace the life they have and strive to pass a legacy on to future generations. There is value in that.

I call bullshit on those who profess love when self-interest is what resides in their hearts. I call bullshit on those who display empathy while using it as a disguise for self-advancement. I call bullshit on those who beat their chests while screwing over the people around them in the pursuit of profit.

I don’t know when it happened, or why, but the old values that respected parents went out the window at some point and they just became pawns in a game for a lot of people.

Is this a statement on society? Damn straight it is!

Modernity has changed the values of society, and not in a good way. We pay lip service to what values we want and ignore the values that are unwanted. This all in the name of what? The coming years are to be an awakening into what happens when the world goes mad. This is when family will matter once again.

14 thoughts on “I want to vent

  1. There has been a lessening of respect for everything and we are now seeing what that means. You are right Mick, I see it often, as an elderly parent is nearing the end of their lives. The crows start to circle. ❤

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    1. It isn’t until it hits you that it means anything. In any other reality I would want my parents rather than their assets but you cannot avoid mortality. I simply do not understand the switch that your own siblings can do when it comes down to the gold to be gained.

      For me it is simple. My only son gets all I have and there is no argument. My legacy to him is preparing him for the world he must live in and doing all I can to push him in the right direction so his life can be more than mine if he pays attention to the life lessons presented. That is the mark of a “real” parent … wanting their offspring to advance past them and not endure the trials they had to by preparing them and generating resiliance and independence in them.

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      1. You are right, Mick. It is not about the money and although we are grateful for any financial gifts from our parents, we miss them. Hugely. You are spot on about the advice and guiding our children to have resilience and flexibility in handling life. You put it across beautifully, but then you are living from your heart and are not motivated by material gain from others.

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      2. Sometimes I think I’m as dumb as a box of hammers for following my morals, values, and convictions rather than just being a snake in the grass. Then again my conscious is clear … more or less.

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  2. Oh, I so hear what you are saying! I never thought I would see it within my own family. After all, we have so little, to begin with. And yet, certain members are fighting over the dregs. Interestingly, it’s the ones that already have the most, that are fighting to keep things away from those who have the least. All while accusing others of being interested in only material gain. 😥

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  3. I so enjoy reading your analysis of life! What you are sharing is so profoundly true and at the same time sad! We as a family have struggled to secure and sustain the values and legacy our parents gave us in terms of family as our first priority!! Trust me, if we abandon the institution of a loving, nurturing, and protective family unit, the village disbands first and then humanity! Prayer warriors and angels are at work.

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      1. If only that was true. Sadly the opposite is true in large part where the ‘nogoodniks’ win at the expense of others as the alter they worship at is the religion of greed, and historically this is what happens when evil resides in the hearts of individuals. It is as old as time.

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  4. Inheritance brings the vultures out- it’s a sad fact that it brings out the worst in people and so many families become divided and squabble when they get a whiff of an inheritance. I think they see it as a birthright and the law supports this. A parent legally must provide for their children. Trouble is most estates are so small the cost of going to court to seek redress if you’ve been disinherited absorbs all the funds in the deceased estate and there’s nothing left. This happened in my family where my father was left with his parents house as compensation for a disability. Her sister challenged this. The judge ordered the parties to mediation to come to an agreement thereby protecting the inheritance from bring swallowed up
    Eventually they did. But was it necessary?
    I will make sure I dispose of as much as I can so they are no squabbles and divide it equally.

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